Life and the Lessons we learn

A look back at 2013 and the things that stuck with me.

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Stop Judging people. It makes you ugly. It makes you grow horns. And, it’s only for immature brats who need to get a life … Said, EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN HISTORY SINCE 1942.

However

It’s false.

Not true, bogus, phony, fictitious, not genuine, F-A-K-E.

And, if you believe you don’t judge, you’ve obviously taken a hiatus from reality by jumping on the delusional train.

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There is absolutely no way to NOT judge. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. It’s human nature. We all do it, every single day, multiple times a day without batting an eye. And, just because you won’t admit it doesn’t make you any better than the Joe-Blow next to you who’s talking trash beneath his breath just loud enough for half the city bus to hear.

You are the same. You’re still thinking it. He just said it out loud.

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“Did she really just say that?”

Yes. As a matter of fact, I did. So, let’s move on.

Instead of focusing on your unattainable goal of “not judging”, how about we focus on something within reach, something within the same realm of our world we call Earth. How about we learn to CATCH our self when we judge, CORRECT our attitude and REDIRECT our focus.

Yeah! Let’s do that!

CATCH – CORRECT – REDIRECT.

Now, that’s achievable. That’s realistic.

See, when we learn to embrace our imperfections, we learn to base our actions on the reality of who we are. Instead of putting so much stock in attempting to be who we aren’t. We aren’t perfect. So, there’s no reason to try and achieve that.

People judge. They do it all the time.

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Is it right?

Nope.

Will it stop?

Nope.

But, if we learn to catch ourselves when we start to judge, when we’re too focused on occupying our thoughts with things that probably aren’t even our business (think about that real long and hard. Most often we judge something that doesn’t even pertain to us or affect us), we can learn to curb that and tell our brains to “hush!”

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After all, what good does feeding into this judgment actually do? What payoff do you get? Aren’t their things in your own life worth the energy and effort you are wasting on the perusal of someone else’s actions, choices, conversations, clothing, home, work, parenting, etc??

::::Cue Jeopardy music::::

Your kids and spouse say “thank you” for returning this past wasted time, energy, effort and focus – back to them.

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Integrity Always wins!

No matter how hard that battle is, stay loyal to your integrity. Because inevitably, that little devil on your shoulder will surface. He’ll somehow show his puny disgusting face to tempt you.

devil-and-angel-cartoonHe’ll offer an appealing deal that’s near impossible to pass up. But, the catch always seems to be laced with dishonesty and dishonorable intentions making your stomach twist into knots. You’re conflicted with taking the deal yet so desperate to free yourself from the heaviness. And, you’re flesh takes over brewing a sense of urgency and fear.

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So, you take it. You swallow the prickly uneasy feeling. And, shut out every troubled emotion racking against the wall of your brain. You argue with yourself, weighing all the strife and anxiety you’ve been facing. You remind yourself how necessary it was to untangle the straightjacket tightly secured around your finances, your job, your marriage, your home, or whatever it is that plagues you. And, you wait for the solace that should come with this solution you’ve just taken. You take the deal even though deep down, you know you should have waited for something else.

And, inevitably it restarts the vicious cycle you attempted to derail yourself from or makes it worse.

::::insert deafening silence::::

When you feel weary, when you’re soul does not seem at ease with a decision … it’s probably because it’s NOT THE RIGHT DECISION.

RethinkAs HARD as life seems to be and as desperate as you may feel …

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Wait for the sunlight to peer through the ominous gray skies. Let it extend its rays like an outstretched helping hand. Let its warmth blanket your desperation with a serenity and peace. Let it offer a paved yellow brick road as a reward for your patience with no strings attached, no dishonesty or dishonorable intentions included.

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Walk in integrity.

Choose honesty.

Make decisions based on peace and not anxiousness or hopelessness.

The reward is a hundred times above and beyond anything that little craptastic devil could give you.

I am living proof of this.

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A baby magically appeared in my belly. Whoa.

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I became a TWO YEAR non smoker. Yes, I smoked for 14 years prior. I am a HUGE advocate of the electronic cigarette.

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I met Jamie McGuire (three times – I need an intervention), Colleen Hoover, Abbi Glines and Tammara Webber! Holy Cowsies! These authors are the greatest thing since sliced bread with peanut butter and grape jam!

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I recorded an oh-so-neato announcement video with my baby daddy broadcasting the way soon arrival of my bun in the oven. This was the greatest “Dancing in the car video” hubs and I have ever done. However, Youtube flagged it for the Beiber song. But, this is almost equally as cool. Gender reveal FTW!

I had lunch with Jamie Mcguire and family. YES! I’m thankful for her. That is all.

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I experienced my first Lake Tenkiller Party cove adventure while PREGNANT. It was – meh. I decided to read instead.

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I had three rockin baby showers thanks to my wonderful besties, close family and work peeps.

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My water broke, labor almost killed me (causing me to almost kill hubs) and BOOM! For unto us a child is born.

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I experienced the worst sports injury I’ve ever had since the beginning of my softball career at age 9! My nose was broken. I looked like a clingon.

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I started this blog! And, people actually read it?!?!

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I had BOTH mom and dad sides of the family TOGETHER in my home when my brother and sis-n-law came to visit from Oh Canada! (eh?)

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I got a rad-tad-tad-tastic new job! Badabing! Badaboom!

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Ask and ye shall receive!

I remember this moment so vividly, like it was only yesterday …

It was early morning, the sun barely peeked through the drapes of my bedroom. I sat on the edge of my bed gently rocking the teesiest tiniest life within my arms. I clutched his soft skin against my chest breathing in every bit of his sweetness. He warmed me with such an intense love. An honest love completely untouched by the dark and twisted perversions of the world. Something I had never in my entire life experienced before. I trailed my fingertip along his face lightly touching his nose, cheeks and pouty little lips. I stared in amazement at what God had given Tyler and I. I was flabbergasted He could entrust me to carry, birth and raise something so extraordinary.  So absolutely perfect when I was so far from that word.

But, He did.

He gave me a son

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I had watched so many around me starting families. I had spent years sharing in their joys and investing in their lives. But, never could I have ever imagined a love so profound, so deep until I experienced the joy of motherhood for myself. I was in a whole new level of heaven.

Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. I made no attempt to blink them back as they fell shamelessly down my cheeks. Sobs slowly escaped my lips and I absorbed the mega-journey laid before my feet. I vowed to not only accept it but embrace the ride humbly and graciously.

In that moment I looked up to the sky, tears still streaming down my face. And, I had a very simple conversation with God:

Please give me more time with him, God.

Please.

He’s it.

My one shot.

My one and only.

I’ll never get a redo.

I’m not having any more children.

And, I’m putting my desire out there on the table.

And, I’m asking you to find me a job that lets me work four days a week.

I’m asking you to give me just as much money as I make now so I can still contribute to our family.

I’m asking you to send me somewhere to work for someone great.

I’m asking you not because I deserve it but, because I know You love me.

And, I don’t know how you’re going to do this.

I just don’t know.

But, I won’t be discouraged. I know you’ll orchestrate this perfectly.

I trust You …

I dried my tears, wiping them from my chin and cheeks. I kissed my sweet lil’ man on the forehead brushing my lips against his baby soft skin. I hugged him tightly against me as peace fell over my mind, body and soul. I swept my hand over the peach fuzz of his head and whispered in his little ear,

“Mommy’s gonna be home more, real soon, monkey. I promise.”

(fast forward 3 1/2 months)

I sat alone in my living reading (as always) while Parker and his daddy slept the morning away. I had no idea what was about to take place …

I received a sweet little message from a family friend asking a smidgen of a favor. When I informed this person that I could actually do that for them …

The whole game changed

The rug of reason got pulled from beneath my feet

The universe shifted on its axis

And, they offered me an opportunity I absolutely couldn’t turn down.

No. Freaking. Way.

Did that just happen?!?!?!?!

::::Cue tears of joy::::

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I-Could-Not-Believe-What-Had-Just-Happened. At all. Like seriously, ARE YOU FLIPPI’N KIDDING ME?!?!?

Four days a week

Money wasn’t a problem

Flexibility when it came to my son

Bonuses

Perks

Raises

Holidays off

Not to mention, I LOVE MY BOSS!!!!

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And, the job was something rewarding. Something I could be proud of doing. Something where I was investing time and care into someone’s lives. I would be taking care of someone’s family, assisting in whatever they needed my help with. And, I couldn’t be happier.

I accepted. Without even blinking, I TOTALLY accepted!!!

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I SCREAMED YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FROM THE MOUNTAINTOP!

I danced around my yard like a giddy five year old thanking God for being faithful. Always faithful. Thanking him for blessing my life.

So, there you have it …

I HAVE A NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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