Life and the Lessons we learn

A look back at 2013 and the things that stuck with me.

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Stop Judging people. It makes you ugly. It makes you grow horns. And, it’s only for immature brats who need to get a life … Said, EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN HISTORY SINCE 1942.

However

It’s false.

Not true, bogus, phony, fictitious, not genuine, F-A-K-E.

And, if you believe you don’t judge, you’ve obviously taken a hiatus from reality by jumping on the delusional train.

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There is absolutely no way to NOT judge. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. It’s human nature. We all do it, every single day, multiple times a day without batting an eye. And, just because you won’t admit it doesn’t make you any better than the Joe-Blow next to you who’s talking trash beneath his breath just loud enough for half the city bus to hear.

You are the same. You’re still thinking it. He just said it out loud.

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“Did she really just say that?”

Yes. As a matter of fact, I did. So, let’s move on.

Instead of focusing on your unattainable goal of “not judging”, how about we focus on something within reach, something within the same realm of our world we call Earth. How about we learn to CATCH our self when we judge, CORRECT our attitude and REDIRECT our focus.

Yeah! Let’s do that!

CATCH – CORRECT – REDIRECT.

Now, that’s achievable. That’s realistic.

See, when we learn to embrace our imperfections, we learn to base our actions on the reality of who we are. Instead of putting so much stock in attempting to be who we aren’t. We aren’t perfect. So, there’s no reason to try and achieve that.

People judge. They do it all the time.

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Is it right?

Nope.

Will it stop?

Nope.

But, if we learn to catch ourselves when we start to judge, when we’re too focused on occupying our thoughts with things that probably aren’t even our business (think about that real long and hard. Most often we judge something that doesn’t even pertain to us or affect us), we can learn to curb that and tell our brains to “hush!”

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After all, what good does feeding into this judgment actually do? What payoff do you get? Aren’t their things in your own life worth the energy and effort you are wasting on the perusal of someone else’s actions, choices, conversations, clothing, home, work, parenting, etc??

::::Cue Jeopardy music::::

Your kids and spouse say “thank you” for returning this past wasted time, energy, effort and focus – back to them.

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Integrity Always wins!

No matter how hard that battle is, stay loyal to your integrity. Because inevitably, that little devil on your shoulder will surface. He’ll somehow show his puny disgusting face to tempt you.

devil-and-angel-cartoonHe’ll offer an appealing deal that’s near impossible to pass up. But, the catch always seems to be laced with dishonesty and dishonorable intentions making your stomach twist into knots. You’re conflicted with taking the deal yet so desperate to free yourself from the heaviness. And, you’re flesh takes over brewing a sense of urgency and fear.

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So, you take it. You swallow the prickly uneasy feeling. And, shut out every troubled emotion racking against the wall of your brain. You argue with yourself, weighing all the strife and anxiety you’ve been facing. You remind yourself how necessary it was to untangle the straightjacket tightly secured around your finances, your job, your marriage, your home, or whatever it is that plagues you. And, you wait for the solace that should come with this solution you’ve just taken. You take the deal even though deep down, you know you should have waited for something else.

And, inevitably it restarts the vicious cycle you attempted to derail yourself from or makes it worse.

::::insert deafening silence::::

When you feel weary, when you’re soul does not seem at ease with a decision … it’s probably because it’s NOT THE RIGHT DECISION.

RethinkAs HARD as life seems to be and as desperate as you may feel …

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Wait for the sunlight to peer through the ominous gray skies. Let it extend its rays like an outstretched helping hand. Let its warmth blanket your desperation with a serenity and peace. Let it offer a paved yellow brick road as a reward for your patience with no strings attached, no dishonesty or dishonorable intentions included.

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Walk in integrity.

Choose honesty.

Make decisions based on peace and not anxiousness or hopelessness.

The reward is a hundred times above and beyond anything that little craptastic devil could give you.

I am living proof of this.

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A baby magically appeared in my belly. Whoa.

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I became a TWO YEAR non smoker. Yes, I smoked for 14 years prior. I am a HUGE advocate of the electronic cigarette.

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I met Jamie McGuire (three times – I need an intervention), Colleen Hoover, Abbi Glines and Tammara Webber! Holy Cowsies! These authors are the greatest thing since sliced bread with peanut butter and grape jam!

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I recorded an oh-so-neato announcement video with my baby daddy broadcasting the way soon arrival of my bun in the oven. This was the greatest “Dancing in the car video” hubs and I have ever done. However, Youtube flagged it for the Beiber song. But, this is almost equally as cool. Gender reveal FTW!

I had lunch with Jamie Mcguire and family. YES! I’m thankful for her. That is all.

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I experienced my first Lake Tenkiller Party cove adventure while PREGNANT. It was – meh. I decided to read instead.

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I had three rockin baby showers thanks to my wonderful besties, close family and work peeps.

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My water broke, labor almost killed me (causing me to almost kill hubs) and BOOM! For unto us a child is born.

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I experienced the worst sports injury I’ve ever had since the beginning of my softball career at age 9! My nose was broken. I looked like a clingon.

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I started this blog! And, people actually read it?!?!

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I had BOTH mom and dad sides of the family TOGETHER in my home when my brother and sis-n-law came to visit from Oh Canada! (eh?)

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I got a rad-tad-tad-tastic new job! Badabing! Badaboom!

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One simple act of kindness

Close your eyes and envision a time in your life where things haven’t been so great.

The lowest of low

Discouraged

Depressed

Disgruntled

Defeated

Deflated

Abandoned

Alone

::::sigh::::

Often those moments we bring upon ourselves because we’re what???? WE’RE HUMAN. (Don’t jump my ace. I said often as in sometimes. NOT ALWAYS.) And, we make terrible, reckless, thoughtless, selfish decisions that, at times, impact our lives drastically.

But, somehow in the deepest, darkest hole of the well we’re trapped in … Someone walks in love, reaches their hand toward you and helps you up off the ground. They’re like your breath of fresh air. Your oasis in the desert. Your warm embrace of sunshine when you’ve felt so frigid cold for so long.

Now, think about who that might have been. Think about the smallest act that may have saved you from your circumstance. Think about the most generous thing bestowed upon you when you knew you deserved nothing.

THINK ABOUT IT, SOAK IT IN, LET IT RESIGNATE THROUGH YOUR SYSTEM. (Because we’ve all been there even if you say you haven’t. I just happen to be open and honest enough to admit it.)

There are so many situations within my life where I can pinpoint gestures of kindness that have significantly helped redirect my crummy circumstance. A friend offering a ride, a family allowing me a place to stay, a random stranger paying for my meal, my extended family paying for my gas, an employer giving me an extra bonus, a church leader listening and understanding my imperfections, a mother silently crying but face 2 face, boldly praying over my life.

Which leads me to this …

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At the beginning of November, I was asked by a friend for a favor. A pretty extreme favor. A favor not to be taken lightly. A favor that could radically impact a young girls life as well as the life of her 18 month old daughter and the child soon to be born within her womb.

A favor for a young girl who was so close to the age of a child that it took my breath away.

She was a baby, with an 18 month old baby and she was about to birth another baby.

Oh, sweet Jesus.

She had nothing. Absolutely nothing. No clothes. No blankets. No food. No diapers. No place for this baby to sleep.

NOTHING. NADA. ZERO. ZILCH.

In that moment, the rational “human nature” side of my brain could have started spinning like a rabid hamster wheel. It could have started throwing accusation, blame, and condemnation in the direction of this young girl. Questioning every bit of reasoning on why “I” had to help. Why it was “my” job to fix this.

Afterall, it’s not my problem, right?

WRONG.

It only took a few seconds for the tender voice on the inside to silence any confusion I had. It wrapped my stirring turmoil and all my troubled thoughts in a blanket, stilling the whirlwind of irritation with peace. It reminded me of this one simple fact:

Who are you to judge?

Didn’t people help you when you felt like you didn’t deserve it?

How many hands were extended to you in your time(s) of need?

Don’t harness blind judgement.

Let go of accusation. 

Walk in love, Kim.

Love never fails.

That’s it. That’s all I needed. That gentle nudge catapaulted me into overdrive. I quickly messaged my friend, letting her know that I would utilize every single resource available to me. Every cotton-pickin’ source I had, to find things for this girl.

I mass texted, I plugged multiple posts on facebook, I emailed, I called. Whatever I could do, I did. Because, although I may not have all the money in the world – I could at least use my big mouth to gather things for this poor girl.

And, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh did the donations pour in.

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We ended up with so much stuff, it brought tears to my eyes.

Hundreds of diapers

40 plus cans of formula

Boxes and boxes and boxes of clothing

Boxes and boxes and boxes of blankets

Binkies

Bottles

Toys

Bath products

And, we even had some extra resources to wrap some of the new stuff so it made this young girl feel like she was getting her own presents.

WOW

And then … On, November 16, I received the sweetest picture with the sweetest caption:

“She says thank you”

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Oh my GAH!

::::Cue tears::::

Big fat torrential downpour tears

Look at that sweet little face.

I knew. I totally without any tid bit of doubt, knew what I did was right. And with the help of so many generous people, we provided a step within this sweet young mom’s life, a bridge for these young babies to cross, when things seemed so grim for them. And, it was all because of a decision to follow the Voice of Love on this inside instead of my natural judgemental human nature.

LOVE WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT, WAIT …

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Shortly after this lil’ munchkin was born, I received this short message from the friend who organized and put this plan in motion:

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OH

EM

GEE!

I’m completely blown away. Utterly Mindblown. And, this isn’t even about me. This post isn’t even about MY abilities. This post is about the decision to follow that “Nudging Voice” on the inside that continually accepts you regardless of your short comings, continually stills the storm with peace, continually reminds that His love is Perfect Love and if we choose to walk in THAT love, we’ll see through people’s imperfections. And, we’ll focus on their need. This is the Love humanity needs to thrive. This is the Love the world needs to touch so many lives.

Read between the lines, folks.

It IS hard because it naturally is dang near impossible.

But, it’s not impossible if you follow Your inner voice.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 8Love Never Fails.

****This post is dedicated to the community outreach done within the walls of the http://www.streetschool.org/.

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Their ability to see beauty through ashes is changing the lives of so many discarded young teenagers.

Please visit their website and contact their donation department if you feel compelled to help.

OR reach out within your own community to something you feel tugging on your heart. It’s never too late. Never. Especially during the season of giving.

LAST TIME I CHECKED, HATE NEVER WON THE RACE. BUT IN THE END, LOVE CONQUERED ALL.